"God Is Calling You; Answer:

‘Here I Am, Lord. Send Me.’"

Sermon for Fifth Sunday of the Year, cycle C, Feb 7-8, 1998

by Most Rev. Dr. Robert M. Bowman, Presiding Bishop, United Catholic Church

Isaiah 6: 1-8

Psalm 138: 1-8

1 Corinthians 15: 3-8, 11

Luke 5: 1-11

Some things happened in 1982 which changed my life. For over a year I had been fighting Reagan’s "Star Wars" scheme. Since I had directed all the "Star Wars" programs under Presidents Ford and Carter, I understood what they could and couldn’t do. I understood that weapons in space, because of their great vulnerability and complexity, would be totally useless to an innocent party trying to defend himself against nuclear attack. I also understood that they could be very powerful in the hands of an aggressor with the element of surprise on his side. And I also understood that they would be powerful offensive weapons for use against both military and civilian targets in a first strike. My knowledge and my former position gave me great credibility, and in speaking out against weapons in space, I had the quiet support of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. They were appalled at the "military lunacy" (their words, not mine) of Reagan’s policy.

But having retired from the Air Force in 1978, I was then an executive in the aerospace industry, and I soon found that I had less freedom of speech in industry than I’d had in the military. So in the summer of ‘82, I suddenly found myself unemployed.

I had been asked to chair the conference of Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) at the second United Nations Conference on Space (UNISPACE 82) in Vienna. So, after leaving industry, Maggie and I flew to Vienna. In the midst of the conference, the United Nations asked me to hold a press conference to announce a resolution against space weapons that I had drafted. We had the support of the majority of nations. After a great deal of effort, we even had the backing of the Soviet Union, who unilaterally stopped their weapons tests. Only the United States stood in the way of a global ban on all weapons in space. The UN wanted the press conference to galvanize world public opinion behind my resolution.

The problem was that I hoped that my unemployment would be temporary. With five of our seven children in college and a huge mortgage, we couldn’t go long without money coming in. The heads of all the major aerospace corporations were there in Vienna peddling their wares (at taxpayer expense). I felt that if I held the press conference, I would likely never work again. But at the same time, I believed in what we were trying to do.

That evening, after doing battle with the US delegation in their fancy hotel suites, Maggie and I were walking hand-in-hand through the cobblestone streets, back to our $7 a night youth hostel. As we walked, I explained my dilemma to Maggie, who said simply, "If this is God’s work, he’ll make it possible. Do whatever you have to do."

It was as if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I held the press conference, and sure enough I haven’t worked since. Seriously, this incident was the end of my aerospace career and the beginning of a new life doing God’s work. We have often teetered on the edge of financial ruin but, true to Maggie’s words, God has made it possible for us to continue ... and not just to survive, but to be happier than we ever were before.

We have been heckled by the High Frontier, the John Birch Society, the Young Republicans, Lyndon Larouche, the Nazi Party, and probably the KKK.

We have been the target of FBI and CIA investigations, IRS harrassment, phone taps, attempted bribery, attempted blackmail, stalking, and death threats.

We have taken on the US government, the military-industrial complex, power companies, the oil industry, the auto industry, the pharmaceutical industry, Jerry Falwell, Jesse Helms, Caspar Weinberger, Pat Robertson, the Christian Coalition, the Jewish lobby, the Pentagon, and the Roman Curia.

Yet here we are, not just surviving, but thriving. Why? I believe it is because Maggie’s faith enabled me to answer God’s call with a "Yes."

When God looked down and said, "Now let’s see, what poor schmuck can I use to keep those idiots from committing mass suicide?", there I was. Now I didn’t jump up and say, "Here I am, Lord. Send me!" No. I said, "Who, me??" For five months, I dodged and evaded, intent on going back to being the rich executive. But God doesn’t give up easily. And so in that fateful October of 1982, I put my old life behind me and started trying to build the new one.

God had his "Yes" — a timid, frightened, half-hearted, hoping this wasn’t really happening "Yes," but a "Yes" nonetheless.

Now some people may not believe I’ve been doing God’s work these last fifteen years. Some may think we’d have been better off if we’d nuked the Russians when we had the chance, instead of accepting a peaceful end to the cold war. Conservatives do not agree with my opposition to the death penalty. Liberals don’t like my stand against abortion. I’ve been told that I’m wrong in offering the sacraments to fallen-away Roman Catholics. I’ve been called a communist, a traitor, a schismatic, and a heretic.

One man came up after I had spoken to thousands of Methodists at the closing liturgy of their conference and told me he would like to be in the firing squad when I’m shot for treason.

We succeeded in keeping weapons out of space, preventing World War III, bringing down the Berlin Wall, and bringing about an end to nuclear testing. But we failed to stop the war against Iraq. We failed to stop NAFTA. So far we have failed to eliminate nuclear weapons. We have failed to get universal health care for our people. We have failed to sever the ties between money and power. We have failed to change the fundamental policies of either our government or the Roman Catholic Church.

At some of these things, we may never succeed. But that’s OK. You see, God doesn’t require that we succeed, or even that we are always right. God only requires that we are faithful.

If we say "Yes" to God’s call as we hear it, and try our best to do God’s work as we see it, then he will bless us.

The fact that God has blessed us bountifully, that he has protected us from the CIA, the mafia, the nazis, and all the others we have offended, that he keeps rescuing us from financial disaster, that he has granted us more happiness than we have a right to expect ... all this does not mean that we are always right. It only means that we are trying.

Now many people have much more dramatic stories of their call by God. But this is my story. If you want high drama, you’ll have to go to the Bible. St. Paul was knocked off his horse and blinded by a bolt of lightning, then heard the words of Jesus himself. Peter and James and John had a miraculous catch of fish. Isaiah saw a host of Seraphim, and the Lord himself, seated on a high and lofty throne.

Let’s face it, for most of us, God’s call is not that dramatic, and often not that clear. But then again, many times we know God is calling, and we really know what he wants us to do, but we deny it, we ignore it, we doubt it, we discount it, we wait for him to hit us over the head with a two-by-four. But sometimes that dramatic bolt of lightning never comes. Sometimes, as it says in scripture, God is not in the wind or the thunder, but in a still, small voice inside us.

Don’t wait for the two-by-four. Don’t demand that the Lord appear to you in glorious technicolor and stereophonic sound. Listen for that still, small voice. The Lord is calling you. He has work for you, work that only you can do.

What is going to be your response? Oh, I know; there are reasons why you cannot possibly do what you think the Lord is asking you to do. There are always reasons. Been there; done that.

Our children were seven very good reasons why I couldn’t possibly give up the financial security of the aerospace industry to become an itinerant preacher for peace and justice. And now, here I am. ... "Here I am." That’s what I should have said right from the start. "Here I am, Lord. Send me."

We sang those words in our opening hymn. I ask that you join me now in again singing just the first verse. And this time, let it be your prayer. Listen for God speaking to you in the verse, "Whom shall I send?" and give your answer in the refrain, "Here I am, Lord." For God is calling you to his service. Maybe he’s calling you to the soup kitchen, to prison ministry, to the nursing homes and hospitals, to be a Eucharistic minister, a deacon, or a priest. But he is calling you. Let us pray as we sing.

"I, the Lord of sea and sky, I have heard my people cry. All who dwell in dark and sin my hand will save. I who made the stars of night, I will make their darkness bright. Who will bear my light to them? Whom shall I send?" "Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart. I will hold your people in my heart."

And all God’s people said, "Amen!"

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