Application to Homosexuality

How then, do we apply the above principles and considerations to the thorny issue of homosexuality?

First, I think we must carefully distinguish between what one is and what one does. Clearly, it is not a sin to have been born a homosexual, any more than it is a sin to have been born left-handed. Of course, some Christians will try to deny that homosexuals are born that way. They see it as a chosen life style. (Why on earth anyone would choose to undergo the pain, suffering, discrimination, and abuse routinely heaped upon homosexuals is beyond me.) The evidence says that those who call it a "chosen" lifestyle are wrong. Some may be seduced or recruited into homosexuality at a tender age. These may, with time and counseling, be restored to their natural heterosexual state. But the majority of homosexuals are born that way. They have no choice about their orientation — only about their practice.

Can you imagine the pain an eleven-year-old boy goes through when he discovers he is different, and thinks he is the only one in the world that way? Can you imagine the suffering he endures when ridiculed and rejected by his peers ... and then perhaps even by his family?

Some years ago, the San Francisco Examiner published excerpts from the diary of a young man named Bobby Griffith: "Feb 19, 1982. Why did you do this to me, God? Am I going to hell? That’s the gnawing question that’s always drilling little holes in the back of my mind. Please don’t send me to hell. I’m really not that bad, am I? ... Life is so cruel and unfair." Not much later, Bobby Griffith took his own life, one of countless thousands of gay teenagers to do so. One of my childhood friends committed suicide, too. The signs of his gayness were there, but not the signs of his unhappiness.

A predominantly heterosexual society makes life for the gay adolescent pretty miserable. Then upon this unfortunate individual the church often heaps more coals. If he is Roman Catholic, he is told he has an "intrinsic disorder" and an "inclination to moral evil." If he is evangelical, he is told he must repent of his perversion and get treatment to restore him to normalcy.

Why do we treat our children this way? Above all else, we must state unequivocally that being a homosexual is not in and of itself sinful. Beyond that, we must say that it is not a perversion. For them, it’s natural. For them to marry a person of the opposite sex and pretend to be what they’re not — that is a perversion. Then (and this is the hard part) we must find a way to let all those awakening adolescent homosexuals out there know that they’re not sinners or perverts, and that there is a future for them and they don’t have to kill themselves. We must stop the slaughter! (Of course, when schools try to do this, they’re accused of corrupting children by offering them an alternate lifestyle. Does anyone really think straight kids will become gay because of what they’re taught in sex education?)

Certainly all adolescents should be taught abstinence. They should be taught to be faithful to the future mate they haven’t even met. They should be taught that promiscuity is always wrong. But while "straight" kids can be taught to wait until marriage, what can homosexuals be taught to wait for? Death?

This brings us to the subject of what homosexuals do. We have already determined that they are forbidden to rape or be promiscuous or attempt to seduce or recruit minors or adults already committed to another. At the same time, we indicated that masturbation is usually acceptable. We have also said that it is unnatural and unfair to the spouse to attempt a heterosexual marriage for appearance, convenience, or whatever reason. In our morality of love and relationship, the only reason marriage should be entered into is because of love — the kind of love which can grow into selfless, sacrificial love. This is extremely difficult in the absence of sexual attraction. A sham marriage is unfair to the spouse, and too often results in failure, divorce, and guilt. If a person knows they are homosexual when they get married and withholds this information from their spouse, this deception is a serious sin.

To summarize thus far: a homosexual can masturbate, but can’t rape or be promiscuous or attempt to seduce or recruit minors or marry under false pretenses or have sex with adults committed to somebody else.

This leaves only one issue to be decided — the morality of homosexual acts between two consenting adults in a monogamous, committed relationship similar to heterosexual marriage.

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